I want to stop existing

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Ever since I can remember I've always had this feeling that I wasn't going to make it. I couldn't see a future with me in it. It was difficult for me to imagine myself all grown up. Me? Who am I to deserve it? What will I even do ? I don't have any aspirations worth working for. I don't have any kind of motivation to work on myself. I have zero will. Nothing to me matters. If I could I would've ended my life a long time ago. I just hate it so much. I get so jealous when I see news that someone died

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