innocent self


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I regret it to the point it hurts my chest. I was such a dumb teenager. Her innocent self would listen to everything I said. Idk how I missed it. This realization came when a friend of ours was tell a story of how they almost got raped. I've never sat down to these types of stories even though everything they described was the things I did to my gf when we were in high school. When we talked about our high school she only talked about her old friends, or the memories she had with them. I remember her confessing to me back then and that's when I started using her as a toy. When our friend was done telling the story I felt sick in stomach. I just got up and left. Idk if she can't remember those days or it simply left her mind. I want to, and have to apologize regardless if she still remembers or not. I want her to know that I'm sorry. She's been spamming my phone with calls and texts, I don't want her to feel forced into this relationship. I love so much that it's hard to believe that I used to tell her to take of her pants. I'd force into letting me do her. I'm now 21 and she's 19, but at that time I was 17 and she was 15-16. Do stop worrying about the past and just apologize and let it go? It seems like she's already let it go.

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