i wish for luck.

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people tell me to "tell my parents about my situation." but it isn't that easy. i have been thinking about it for a while but it seems like i don't have enough courage in me to do that. most people would say "you can do it, i'm by your side don't worry!". but even if u'd be by my side, how can i tell the ones who brought me into this world i want to get out of it. i don't think that i can afford taking my family's happiness away, i don't think i'd be strong enough to handle the pain in my guardians eyes. it might sound stupid and dumb but, i don't think my guardians would ever understand my problems nor situation. i can say that life isn't easy and i don't think that i'm the only one who doesn't have it easy. i know myself and i know that, i feel alone and that i think that no one understands me. but there must be people out there who can compare to my mind. and the fact that i still kiss both of my wrists when the numbers on the time are the same. i kinda feel stupid for believing that i'd get luck, i have never gotten any luck out of it. people tell me that suffering with more people is better then suffering alone, while i don't feel like making other people suffer because of my problems. thats also the main reason i suffer alone.

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