The tears sting my eyes, I wanna go back in time, When I was young and everyday was full of fun, When all we had was our moms and dads and they were enough. We didnt long for more than a sleepover with our best friend, We would beg to stay up an hour past 10, Now i pray im asleep before 5am. Im trying to find a job, My friend is finally quitting hers, We pray to be successful but we are too stressed with our everyday lives, We can do no more than sit on our beds and cry.The tears sting my eyes, They trickle down my cheeks and leave wet spots on my sweatshirt, They remind me of when i was young, When i only cried after a bad dream or losing a toy. I pray i regain the happiness of my youth, I miss giggling while swinging with my friends, I pretend im okay now, Only because when i ask for help im ignored. I wish we could go back in time, I want my mom to hug me like she did when i was a child,I want the reassurance that she believes in me, I want to know she loves me. I want to admire my dad, Not fear him and my mom splitting up, I used to think we were happy, Looking back we were faking all a long. We barely got by, No extra money no extra toys sometimes no food, My dad skipped dinner saying he wasnt hungry just to make sure we were fed, I never noticed what he really meant. We still arent happy, We dont try to pretend anymore, My moms off her meds i never got mine and i dont think i will ever be fine again. My dad snaps at my mom and yells, She looks frightened by the sound but knows he will never hurt her, I wonder how theyre still together and in love, They hug and laugh and next time i see them they look angry. I live in my own world pretending everything is fine while the crazy world around me tries to break down my protective walls, When part of that world breaks in the tears start to sting again. I have so many fears, Failure, Forgetting where i came from, Losing sight of what is truely important. Ive found that staying naive and pretending im fine is better than crying every night, Ive told myself for years that crying is a sign of weakness to make myself stop, Now when im upset i cant, I long for the days before i became numb. I wrote too much, I was supposed to be one stanza, It just happened, I remembered too much. It started flowing and pulling memories to the front of my brain, They wont stop flashing in my mind, Bringing up times i thought i was okay but i was wrong, I want to go back to 10 minutes ago. I want to go back to before i wrote a single word, I needed to express myself, But now i just need to shut up. I wish i could go back in time.