hi babe, how are you? I think about you more than I thought I would. I know I was the one who ended things because things were getting toxic. All the times before when you had called things off then you would be the one to come back and apologize, I never wanted to be the one who ended it, but that time I had had enough I couldn't do it anymore. I know I shouldn't be regretting it, I know what I did was right but I just can't stop thinking about you. Its been 2 months and how much ever I try not to do it but I always fall asleep with your thought in my mind. Sometimes I think I should've given you one last chance but I know if I would have done that we would have fought again and then I would be in the same place again. I don't want to hate you . I cant hate you. I don't know if you meant what you said but I meant every word I said. I had to end it for both of our mental health. I didn't want to cause us more trauma.I see your stories and posts on Instagram, clearly you have moved on. I don't like seeing them. I try to justify everything by thinking that we were complete opposites, different upbringings, different type of friends, different characters. I know we had some similarities. we both just found something in each other that we didn't have in ourselves. I miss talking to you. You know now when my friends tell me about their boyfriends or potential boyfriends and how things are going so great with them, I just cant help but regret what I did, because if I hadn't done that, this would be us. I am so genuinely happy for my friends, like no hard feeling or anything. Its just that I preferred the emptiness when I didn't know it was there I know you don't think about me, that's the worse part because it makes me regret thinking about you. I know you wont come back. I know you wont message me.I don't know if I want you to do any of that either.I just want that comfort I had with you. I don't know how will I look at you when I end up seeing you around. We're just strangers again, just like how it was before. Why did things have to end on bad terms, if they had ended on good terms then maybe I wouldn't have all this regret. I'll be happy for you regardless of anything that happens. Its just that my heart hurts a lot. I shouldn't have talked to you in the first place. Things would have been so different now. I just want to distract myself. Its difficult but I'm trying my best. I don't know why did I write this. I wish I could send this to you.