I had a friend named G. (not real name)G was a really nice friend, she always stood up for me even after the bullying incidents.She had my back and helped me when ever i missed school because of my father. She was my only friend. I wasn't allowed to go out, but she came to visit me every sunday.My father is unstable and has drinking problems, he often throws tantrums and ends up breaking things.He gets angry if i leave him when he's drunk so i missed out a lot of school days. When i started getting older and matured he started looking at me weird. He'd make me sit on him and hug him. Eventually he started kissing and forced his tongue inside my mouth.I felt weird and disgusted yet i couldn't stop him. I was scared to tell my friends and teacher about it. My mother works as a nurse and is always on night shift or sleeping, so i rarely see her. She's fed up with dad and left him to me instead.The more days passed by the more he started touching me.He touches my chest everyday and pinches my nipple to make me moan. He doesn't stop at all even after i cry and beg him to stop.Even when i'm doing homework he touches me.I have a big chest for my age and people already give me weird looks,but after he started doing this i wished i was born a boy.My mother can't go shopping due to her shifts so my father and i go out to get the daily groceries and clothes.He teases me whenever i need to get sanitary pads and makes jokes about my chest size whenever he gets the chance.Two months ago when quarantine happened something clicked in my father. My mother had to work even more and was sleep deprived. She probably knew what was going on but she ignored it.She's never home now, and i regret not asking her for help.He raped me that night.It hurt, not just physically.He continued even after i passed out.I tried calling mom a few times but it didn't work.He makes me wear nothing at home and took all my underwear.I wanted to wear a cute dress but then he made a joke and now i feel ashamed.He recorded our sex on video and sent it to his friends.One of them was G's dad.G must have found out because she called me a lot after that.I told her everything,about how i had enough of him and how i want to just die.She called my dad and made a threat to call the police.But you see in our community, something this shameful ruins your name and if this gets out its basically over.So i have been keeping quiet about this.G got into a fight with her dad about me and got injured.It's all my fault.He still touches me.I hate his touch,I wish i had a diffrent better father.