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I wish I was good enough

Huh.. Never write a letter to someone. But somehow I want to write something. IDK where to start. A lot of things are in my head rn. Why can't they just accept that this is me. Her daughter. A daughter that she never wish for. Why can't you they notice me... It's always him.. My cousin. He always get the attention. He's smart. That's all. He gets the attention because he's smarter. If only I could tell them a side. A side of him that they never saw. A side where he's not friendly and sht. He's different from what u think. He always say that he's better. Yea right better. Better that he asked me questions about thing he doesn't know. He always bring me down. I don't have confidence like him. Struggling through anxiety is... Huh. Crying every night wishing I was better. I'm sorry if I'm ugly. Too ugly that I can't make my crush notice me. I'm sorry if I have anxiety. Really can't stand up for myself. I'm sorry if I'm too kind. Letting them go cause thinking they'll be happy. I'm sorry if I'm dumb. Can't make an A+ in my card. I'm sorry. Sorry that I exist. Never even wish to.