I wish I was never born . I have been feeling like this for a really really long time. I think it must have started after I was tricked into going to a boarding school by parents I don't resent them for this I love my parents it's just after I came back from it after 1 year when I was in 4th grade I started feeling lonely , not needed, a burden to my parents. I fell in love my older cousin sister but by the time I realised this she was getting married this was before I knew anything about love so when I realised what my feelings where it was already too late . I just bottled up my feelings about that I may cry to sleep ever now and then pitying myself thinking that all I cause is worry and sadness and disappointment to my parent. My parents are really amazing people they deserve a better son than me I have bad grades, I am stubborn, I argue with them a lot. I am a horrible person I don't deserve to be alive I just wish I had someone who I could tell everything about me and she would accept me for who I am I really wish I never existed then I wouldn't feel this pain and cause such disappointment and sadness to the people I care about alot about.I have thought about suicide alot as well I just can't bear to feel like this anymore I just want it to be over with.I am sorry for making u all listen to me rant I was just feeling really really sad and wanted a bit of comfort but u don't have to do anything. I don't deserve anything so thank you for reading and sorry for making u read this.