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Idk, a poem just because...

I've written all I got to say,

But the words rot and scatter away.

So with a hole in my heart I'm stuck on a boat,

slowly sinking just in sight of shore.

I work so hard to make my life worse

And in my happiest dreams I dream of riding a hearse.

But I know I could never leave it behind

For in this pain is all the truth I'll ever find.

And though she gave me her love,

Selfishly I feel that it is not enough.

I know it in my heart, oh I swear,

I'm the reason she's not there.

I dream about her all day long,

Yet every thought turns out pitiful and wrong.

Something isn't right, and I know it's me

Because you were a angel that got mixed with me.

I can never just be what and who I am.

So much hatred that I know no one can understand,

I put my feelings into words that rhyme

To give myself a voice for what's inside.

Why must it be that I'm never satisfied.

Except in wishing for death that I'm glad.

And wish for more pain to get what I deserve,

For it's in my pain that the fear resolves.

It's the end that I wish was near.

Just living life is what I fear.