idk i hate the way i look

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i’m so tired of regretting eating something. like i only eat one thing a day and i still regret it. i’m so tired of it. i don’t know what to do. every time i eat dinner with my family i feel so ashamed and horrible that i’m eating. i feel like my family secretly judge me. especially my parents. i always try to avoid having to sit down with them and eat now. i don’t know i’m just tired of looking at myself in the mirror and seeing my body. it takes too long to get dressed because i feel fat in everything i wear and i look ugly. it’s so hard. i hate my face a lot too. i hate getting my pictures taken too. like when i’m with my friends and they take a picture of me just for fun i refuse to look at it because i know it’ll ruin my self esteem and i know i’m gonna breakdown. i’m so tired of feeling this way. i’m so hungry and miserable and i hate it but i don’t know what to do. i feel like i’m close to giving up and ending it but idk. i just feel like i can’t do it anymore and i wanna restart.

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