I just feel so sad and overwhelmed all the time. Like literally all the time. It's getting really tiring. I cry everyday because of how much i hate myself. i feel like i find a flaw in absolutely everything about myself. I hate my face, my lips, my ears, my chin, my nose, my chubby cheeks, my broad shoulders, my manly arms, my ugly fingers, my tubby stomach, my wide hips, big boobs, big thighs, large calves, ugly feet, the freckles all over my arms, the sound of my voice, the way that i walk, how lazy i am, and how stupid and annoying. i dont add anything to this family. and my parents are always mad at me because im always doing something wrong even when i try so hard not to. im constantly forgetting and losing things. im mean to them without even realizing it. im such a horrible daughter. i dont deserve the parents or the life that i got. i dont even get that good of grades and i dont excel in anything. all i am is a burden and an extra bill to pay. i really think theyd be better off without me and sometimes i contemplate what would happen if i just didnt wake up. i know they would be sad but what would they really be losing? theres not much thats keeping me happy anymore. but i also feel like i dont even have the place to feel bad for myself. how bad do i have it? so i have homework and expectations to meet? it doesnt sound all too bad. but for some reason i can just cry thinking about it. i feel like im losing myself and i dont know who to talk to or what to do because i feel like im being annoying whenever i try to talk about my mental health. like nobody cares lol. but im just so sad. i dont want to do anything anymore. i dont take care of myself because i just dont care. i like to believe that things will get better but i also feel like ive dug myself into such a deep hole its going to be so hard to get out of. i hate literally everything about myself. and the things that i do like i still hate sometimes lol. i dont feel worthy of love and i dont feel like ill ever recieve it. im too ugly for anybody to love me. im too annoying and needy and overdramatic. i could think of maybe five people that would truly be sad if i left. i mean is it worth it? i just dont know anymore. im so lucky honestly i dont understand why i feel like this but i cant help it. i dont know what to do except cry to myself and vent online lol. i feel lost. i need help but i dont want to get it. i dont have anything to look forward to anymore.