I don't want to live anymore but I am not sure i want to dio ether. Even tho i have great friends and family I constantly feel lonely. Besides that i feel empty. I know its stupid because there are people with real problems and struggles and i live a normal life without much bad happening but i cant help it. I just can't talk to anybody about it because i'm afraid they wouldn't understand or they would start pitying me. I'm also scared to tell my parents because my sister had mental health problems few years ago and it was really hard for them so i dont want them to go trough that again. At first i tought this was a faze but it has been going on for so long that i'm not so sure anymore. I jast can't go on like this, the only thing i want is to be happy but idk how to do that. Nothing i do and nothing good that happenes makes me happy. Every day i think about ending it but i never actualy bring myself to do it. I guess i don't really want to die i just don't see another way out. I am scared that i'm going to feel like this for the rest of my life and i can't do it. I'm just tired.&nbsp;

I don't want to live anymore but I am not sure i want to dio ether. Even tho i have great friends and family I constantly feel lonely. Besides that i feel empty. I know its stupid because there are people with real problems and struggles and i live a normal life without much bad happening but i cant help it. I just can't talk to anybody about it because i'm afraid they wouldn't understand or they would start pitying me. I'm also scared to tell my parents because my sister had mental health problems few years ago and it was really hard for them so i dont want them to go trough that again. At first i tought this was a faze but it has been going on for so long that i'm not so sure anymore. I jast can't go on like this, the only thing i want is to be happy but idk how to do that. Nothing i do and nothing good that happenes makes me happy. Every day i think about ending it but i never actualy bring myself to do it. I guess i don't really want to die i just don't see another way out. I am scared that i'm going to feel like this for the rest of my life and i can't do it. I'm just tired. 

Hey sweetie. Millions of us feel like you. Please read this. Life was hard. But by my mid 20’s it started looking up. I married my best friend. Bought a house. Got a great job. Had kids. In my 40’s I met my favorite athlete ever. Nearing 50 I made a friend. They had music connections. I met a lot of famous singers. In high school I had a crush on a singer. Well i got to hang out with her in my 40’s. I watched my kids win academic awards. Play music. Win city; state, &amp; even a national Title. At an out of state sports event i met an actor. He’s one of my favorites. Very cool. Ive owned a cool old sportscar; &amp; a BMW. Ive surfed &amp; dived. Hung out the side of a military helicopter. Helped build something that went to Mars. I got emergency training. Ive saved lives. I breathed life into a boy who turned blue. Saved a tiny girl. Had I killed myself Id never have experienced all of those amazing things later in life. I Love You. Jesus loves you. Please learn to love your self. To calm myself I watch comedies. I listen ro fun music; I sing &amp; dance. I stare at flashing Christmas lights on my wall; or a lava lamp on the dresser as I listen to calm music or watch TV as I drift off to sleep. I hug a large pillow as I go to sleep. Who knows what your life has in store if yiu just have the courage to live it. My best moments were holding my wifes hand. Our first kiss. My kids being born; learning to walk, &amp; saying I Love You Daddy. You get to treat your kids the way you wish you’d been treated. Dont quit. Live this life. Stay in your seat until your turn is over. Then go to Heaven. It will wait on you. I Love You. Jesus loves you. Please learn to love your self. To calm myself I watch comedies. I listen ro fun music; I sing &amp; dance. I stare at flashing Christmas lights on my wall; or a lava lamp on the dresser as I listen to calm music or watch TV as I drift off to sleep. I hug a large pillow as I go to sleep. God Bless Online therapy. Talkspace.com $65 week. Maybe this will be a good site if dont want goto officr. I goto an office. Ive heard this is a good online option.

Hey sweetie. Millions of us feel like you. Please read this.  Life was hard. But by my mid 20’s it started looking up. I married my best friend. Bought a house. Got a great job. Had kids. In my 40’s I met my favorite athlete ever. Nearing 50 I made a friend. They had music connections. I met a lot of famous singers. In high school I had a crush on a singer. Well i got to hang out with her in my 40’s. I watched my kids win academic awards. Play music. Win city; state, & even a national Title. At an out of state sports event i met an actor. He’s one of my favorites. Very cool. Ive owned a cool old sportscar; & a BMW. Ive surfed & dived. Hung out the side of a military helicopter. Helped build something that went to Mars. I got emergency training. Ive saved lives. I breathed life into a boy who turned blue. Saved a tiny girl. Had I killed myself Id never have experienced all of those amazing things later in life. I Love You. Jesus loves you. Please learn to love your self. To calm myself I watch comedies. I listen ro fun music; I sing & dance. I stare at flashing Christmas lights on my wall; or a lava lamp on the dresser as I listen to calm music or watch TV as I drift off to sleep. I hug a large pillow as I go to sleep. Who knows what your life has in store if yiu just have the courage to live it. My best moments were holding my wifes hand. Our first kiss. My kids being born; learning to walk, & saying I Love You Daddy. You get to treat your kids the way you wish you’d been treated. Dont quit. Live this life. Stay in your seat until your turn is over. Then go to Heaven. It will wait on you. I Love You. Jesus loves you. Please learn to love your self. To calm myself I watch comedies. I listen ro fun music; I sing & dance. I stare at flashing Christmas lights on my wall; or a lava lamp on the dresser as I listen to calm music or watch TV as I drift off to sleep. I hug a large pillow as I go to sleep. God Bless  Online therapy. Talkspace.com $65 week. Maybe this will be a good site if dont want goto officr. I goto an office. Ive heard this is a good online option. 

Re: Idk what to put here

I really understand this honestly it’s just u want to be happy bc you’ve had moments of it before and yk how great it is but u also know how shit it is feeling like empty soulless jusy light and you dk how to be happy again or u do know and can’t get it it feels like an unreachable goal thay you’ll never get again and that just ending it is easy but you’re a fighter u don’t take the easy way out no matter what you gotta keep going for the people around u! I’m sorry we both go through this shit but hey at least we have this community:)

I really understand this honestly it’s just u want to be happy bc you’ve had moments of it before and yk how great it is but u also know how shit it is feeling like empty soulless jusy light and you dk how to be happy again or u do know and can’t get it it feels like an unreachable goal thay you’ll never get again and that just ending it is easy but you’re a fighter u don’t take the easy way out no matter what you gotta keep going for the people around u! I’m sorry we both go through this shit but hey at least we have this community:)