Where do I even begin?
I can't seem to keep a job for longer than a coowuple of years. I'm in a sexless marriage married to a frigid woman who belittles and demoralizes me constantly. My children love me, for now, but my wife'is constantly planting the seed in their minds that I am a loser.
Truth be told, for years I have contemplated suicide, but the fact of the matter is that I'm way too much of a coward to act on my feelings.
I constantly dream of running away and starting a new life somewhere where nobody knows me, like Alaska or Idaho, and to go it alone. Some nights I actually organize everything in my mind so that I really could leave if I wanted to, but then I always chiken out.
I just really believe that my life would be much better if I weren't in it.
Thanks for prociding me a place where I can say all of this. The ironic thing is that everyone who knows me would have no idea that I feel this way. I think I hide my pain well, at least for now. Who knows how much longer I can keep up the charade.