I faked disorders online for 4 years as a teenager and the guilt of it eats me alive every single day. I don't think I have munchausens, I could never actually go get any of these horrible procedures done on me or anything like that but I lied once and then was too scared to tell the truth so I kept lying and lying and lying to this one person who also has medical disorders became close friends with me and I never told them I don't have the disorders because I told them all of my information like address, full name, siblings names, parents names, etc. I feel horrible now thinking I was leading her on and can't sleep at night a lot because of it. I am worried she is going to try to track me down irl and someone in my family will find out about this situation or it will be brought to the public if I tell her. Am I a horrible person? I have tried to sever connection but we still have a few and she has my phone number and stuff and the anxiety of it all eats me alive. I should tell the truth but if I do my entire future could be over. I have two diagnosed chronic illnesses (for real for real) and because of what I did as a teenager I often tell myself I'm faking it and "what if I'm faking it" even though I know I'm not, the medical testing was not altered and shows the truth (For context I have POTS and ME/CFS) but yeah. It's just a lot. I hate myself every single day.