2 months ago
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I'm a nobody

I feel really uncomfortable around people i don't know because i feel like they will judge me like people what people around me does, i am deeply hurt even at house because my brother always thinks he's jokes are funny but it truly does hurt mo so much and i can't even tell my mom because i know she'll just tell me that I'm so dramatic and sensitive. When i was a child, i never had friends because i was fat and they keep on teasing about me and i had to keep it to myself until when i was grade 6 my friends left me too and i literally had no one but myself and i just feel like a trash because no one wants to be with me and i feel like it's better to be alone. I never trusted anyone anymore even now in high school i still can't tell this things because they'll just tell me that I'm dramatic like what happened the last time i opened up about it they said i was too dramatic and that is why told myself that i would never ever open up again and i'm so scary. Now whenever I'm surrounded with a lot of people I'm trembling, nervous and feel like they will judge me and think of me as a trash and nothing but i want to overcome this. I don't wanna be hurt by my brother's word anymore too but it's just he's never gonna change and no one's gonna fully understand and listen what's going on with me anymore.

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2 months ago

Re: I'm a nobody

Please continue to tell me your story. I can so relate. I too was teased for being fat as a child, and indeed at home too. It does have a big bad impact. For me things did improve as I got older but people continue to judge me wrongly. You do feel helpless don't you. Like you I am afraid to speak out about it too much. I think we should try and say to ourselves we are in the right. We k ow ourselves, we know we are good people. Our opinion of ourselves is what matters. You seem like a good person n with a good sense of what is right. You deserve to be happy.

As a child, I was teased for alot of things. First it was my eyebrows, you know what I did as a kid, I shaved them off lol

Then it was because I was a skinny kid.

Now that i've grown I have full eyebrows and everybody wants to have eyebrows like mine.

I was teased for my hair being long and full, ended up giving myself a haircut when I was a kid. My bad.

As I grew a little older I was teased because I wasn't small, I wasn't exactly overweight but I was over weight for my age but not for my height.

I was bullied because I was short until I hit my growth spurts now i'm 5'9" and I wasn't being pushed around since I grew.

I'm still the same size, I've been the same size for over 10 years, now i'm teased because i'm skinnier than most people.

As a human being, I just never felt good enough, no matter what I did, It would become this, than that.

I think what you should do is make yourself feel good about yourself, lose weight if you're over weight. Make yourself happy and if your still not good enough for peoples perspective stick it to them lol

Those glowups of people losing weight is inspirational, my bestfriend did it. She's 5'4" and was about 230 pounds. Now shes in a healthy range and has so much energy. You can do anything you want to do too.

Theres always going to be someone who mentions your flaws, we all have them, they ones who talk and think like your brother are lower on my food chain now.

"but i want to overcome this"...NOW we're gettin somewhere. !st off girl, if your a TEEN, its practically your JOB to be "dramatic" MELOdramtic, HYPERdramatic..... (hyper?) OK I made that one up..>LOL..Point is sweetheart, its not beyond ANYBODY to have moments BEING dramatic.Also,if ya just started HS, your body/brain are still "cookin"(wish they still had HEALTH class like I did in the 70s???) Nature has you hormonally outta balance right now. Certain KEY vitamins, amino acids, select herbs CAN help, but its still its still a toss up till ya get thru your jeckle /hyde yrs. Mood swings, weight yo yo ing up/down up/down up/down, being dramatic ...(oh we covered that..LOL), insecure, (ANY TEEN tells you they're NOT, they LILAC Zdeeawg. Sensitivity is VERY subjective...ppl will ALWAYS make comments to be mean, feel superior to others, (the biggie), trying to control you, keep your down/depressed etc. Notice that these ppl have a "motive"....Has nothing to DO w/ YOU, and what the actual TRUTH is about YOU...Lil brother has a motive to keep you a perpetual victim under HIS control...ppl , who have evil in their DNA seek out ppl, who have a poor self image, constantly verbalize their short comings,insecurities.Even when your not sayin anything,all this gives off a "vibe" thats felt by others.Best piece of advice I got EVER was "You (teach) ppl HOW to treat you"...... think about that for a min........SEW TRUE!.. The world is NOT gonna change around ya girl. Your becoming a young lady and need to start dealing with these uncomfortable senerios HEAD ON... No more lil miss scaredeecat. ITS OK to be fearful, appear fearful...ITS OK to appear dumb, when your inexperienced. OMG, you shouda seen ME at 16 takin my drivers road test..LOL. My foot was SHAKING going between gas & brake. The Cop thought I was havin a SEISURE..LOL. BUT,,, I got thru it, which REALLY boosted my self esteem....I realize that you've isolated ALOT in your early yrs but girl, the more socially challenging situations you put yourself in, the more self confident your gonna become, even if you appear nervous, clueless, SICK to your stomach, shaking/ trembling....I KNOW youve heard the saying "fake it till ya make it"? We've ALL done that.... Everybody!... No body starts out in their 20s in college, on the job site, in the office ,with "experience". Girl your HUMAN, fallable, some times clueless, sometimes clumsy, some times dramatic,sometimes afraid, some times insecure, (geez was I EVER ... still am sometimes and IM a TEENIOR..LOL)... Ppl ARE gonna judge you..No question about it...Its a VERY natural part of human nature. Self confidence/ reliance is the best tool in your arsonal to let the judge, having the final verdict, saying WHO YOU ARE, WHAT KINDA PERSON YOUR ARE, be YOU, NOT you dipshit lil bro..LOL, Not you MOM, not uncle Harry, cousin Steve, the dweebie douche bag on Face chat (oh ....? i think its facetime?) I MEAN Face time..LOL.. Girl , you opening up to ppl for understanding shows me HAVE feelings, and likely are a good LISTENER for those , who need to open up as well. PLEASE dont squelch that?..When mean ppl shut you down, dont wanna hear it from ya, that has NO BEARING on the fact that your human and NEED , as we ALL do , some body TOOOOO open up to... Dont let mean, narsisistic, shallow, self absorbed /self important define, in ANY way, your self worth. I know your tender hearted, which I believe will serve you WELL, be an asset, in the future, if we can get you to RE define, get TRUTHFUL, about who you really are,changing how you see yourself, AND coming to an acceptance this being reality.... Word are just that ... words... Coming from lil bro, you already KNOW "why" they;re "comin.....Has NOTHING to do with YOU... The only way these "words" can hurt you is allow them , by having YOUR PERMISSION to do so....Right?.....(couldnt hear ya ...Im old ..speak up...LOL) I said Right?... The world is gonna need more "tender hearted sensitive ppl in the future for humanitarian reasons but that heart ALSO has to be strong , resistance of evil speak, full of courage, willing to be some what vunerable too (its healthy) but ready to bounce back when its done wrong... You do YOU girl, not letting any THING any ONE, else have a say in that unless its positive re enforcing in nature. Dont let anyone sell ya short, stand in your way of following your passion, what drives ya. With all the negativity in the world today, happening in our daily lives, we kinda OWE IT to ourselves to not let ANY of that define us, keep us from reaching our goals, keepin us depressed for ANY reason. Its OK to be sad,angry even be depressed ocassionally BUT...when it lingers, lives "rent free" in our head"..THAT is on US....Remember this too. Life is 10% of what is happening/ has happened to us.......90% how we "RESPOND" to it.... Think about that one for a min as well........Yep, I see lil brother changing maybe around 25..LOL(take us guys alittle longer...LOL) In the meantime, REALLY piss him off by showing him , your ON to his lil ass by letting his words be just that.....words.....(from a feeble lil mind thats tryin deperately to express its poor self...LOL. Write more young lady if ya feel its helpin?...I know comin hear a few months ago helped me alot!