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I’m a suicidal teen with who guessed it, mental illness

i tried to kill my self a few weeks ago. mainly because of a few incident i’ve had with sexual assault, stress, and just feeling like i’m not good enough which sounds stupid but it’s true. i’ve been trying to get better but school started up again since it closed because of corona. and i guess people found out so people just bring up all the memories and reasons and every single thing i regret to the point where i have to get picked up or cry in a bathroom. and i tried to ask my mom if i could do full online school because “i’ll be able to get more work done” to which she said absolutely not you never did school work when it was all online and you never keep your word so nope. which is first of all hurtful, and second of all i’m now trapped having to go back there and have panic attacks or breakdowns i don’t even know what they are because i can’t tell my mom that they’re happening. because my family thinks i’m doing so much better and i can’t just keep letting them down and they’ll just say i don’t want to go to school and i’m lying to get out of going. when it is literally destroying me. i’ve been trying really hard to get caught up but i can’t do it without giving up and i can’t get help with it because i cry from stress when i don’t understand things people try to teach me. i’m so used to always learning quickly i can’t handle feeling stupid.

so yeah i’m just stuck here, silently suffering i guess. overwhelmed with stress, shame, and just overall sadness. thanks i guess if you read the whole thing



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Re: I’m a suicidal teen with who guessed it, mental illness

Take a pic of this. Show your parents.

Hi. I’m an older Christian father. One of my children was a happy child. Great student. Great athlete. Church volunteer. Then in middle school she was harassed. Mocked. We refused to let her quit. Then she was physically attacked.

We told her to fight back & tried to go thru the channels. Got worse. She started laying in the floor screaming at night.

I had to pick my baby up & hold her. I had to admit that even though I have 7 degrees I don’t know everything. Even though I used to hunt & play football; that doesn’t mean my kids are as tough as me.

So I put my boys in private school. Went in debt to do it. My daughter I took to a therapist. Put her on meds. I home schooled her myself. She mainly finished online. She’s in college now & doing fine.

I had to set my ego aside & do what was best for her. I’d rather have my baby; than force het to do it my way & lose her.

I’ve ran touchdowns. Skinned & are a deer. Built up my own hot rod. Drew blue prints. I assure you I’m just as smart & manly as you dad. Her mom is a strong Christian; martial artist, & successful in business. Highly educated. She’s your equal mom of this young lady.

Get your baby the help she needs. Whatever it takes. Better she graduates at home than you bury her.

Your not as smart or manly as me. If I could set aside my very massive ego & do the right thing for my little girl (who is in fact a 200 lb body building martial artist), then so can you.

Did you catch that? My daughter bench presses over 200 lbs. I’ve seen her beat boys in Martian arts tournaments. Watched her win a city title. She graduated high school at 16. Yet she couldn’t deal with public school either. She ended up finishing online. So what. She’s in college & working now.

I wrote this for someone else but I think you need this too:

I have attempted to kill myself twice. Both on Tylenol. I like to blame my mother for both attempts.


The first one I was going into my freshman year of HS. I felt that my mother had hated me for not being enough for her. I wrote her a letter telling her about all the things that I did for her. She thought it was shit. I counted the pills by 2's. 2,4,6,8.... I kept going until 24, then I stopped counting. I kept going. I called a friend knowing what I had just done. My mother heard. I went to the ER. I threw up and almost killed my liver. My stupid guidance counselor for my freshman year required me to meet her a week later. I hated her "just keep going" and "your going great" was not what I needed to hear from her. It wasn't until my senior year that I got the help that I needed from the school. (my mother did not care and did not visit me in the hospital)

The beginning of my junior year was rough for me. I had this friend that I just met and her boyfriend who I had known for 5 years at the time, and the girl was bullying me. I over doused on Tylenol again. I counted to 20, 5 pills over the daily max. I told my mother what I had just done. she was drunk, but she was more worried about the person that was bullying me at the time that I just stopped caring about her. I thought about my brother(2 at the time), I knew that he would need me one day. I forced myself to throw up and stayed home from homecoming.


I learned that there are people in this world worth living for. Even if it did not seem like it in the moment, my aunts and uncles have had my back since. I moved away from my family and am happier then ever. Find the people that you love and care about, hold onto them and let them know you feel this way. someone can and will help you. They might also not be the person that expect to help you. Find them and get the help you need.


I am here for you!

-E


Tell them the truth. I always told my kids be honest. One of my kids was a sweet Christian.

Public schools in America are full of teachers that hate Christians. They harass; mock, & bully Christian Children. Some teachers don’t want to teach white boys.

I built a big house in a great school zone. Transferred my kids there. They are elite athletes. Get them in a big school. Go play for elite colleges. Sounded good.

Well; I couldn’t believe what they said. So I rigged up tiny hidden mikes & cameras on them. Book bags. Used their friends. I was shocked.

Teachers mocking my kids for wearing Jesus shirts. Mocking them if they spoke of their faith. Mocking the Bible they carried & cross they wore. They didn’t mock the other faiths though.

I saw classrooms where teachers made all the white boys sit in the back. If they asked questions or held up their hands they were ignored. If the entire classroom was talking only white boys got in trouble. I watched my son an honor student a year ahead hand in work. I’d get his grades with zeros balanced in. Claiming he didn’t hand in the work but I saw him hand it in on tape.

Then there were the section 8 kids. Bussed in. They didn’t mess with my large kids. But they would attack & beat up the disabled kids. The well shy loner kids. The gay kids. My kids had started defending these kids. The school would not discipline the section 8 kids who started the fights. But they’d suspend my kids for protecting a disabled child. Or my kids friends.

I didn’t admit I had tapes; but I have connections. I took it all the way to the top. My daughter saved a gay girl being attacked by several gang members. We pay a lot of taxes. Why are gang kids bused to our school? I raise good kids. They shouldn’t be having to fight with gang members.

My daughter was being called gay for protecting a gay girl. She was attacked by groups of older boys & girls in a gang. She begged to be home schooled. She was also a year ahead; & a high level athlete.

I went to the teachers; principal; all the way up to the school board.

I found out I can’t do anything about public school teachers harassing my kids. Their union is too strong. They have no power to suspend section 8 kids. It takes a federal level person to do that. And they don’t. Do these gang members can just attack anyone they want. In school suspension is their worst punishment & they know it. But they will suspend the disabled or gay kid if they fight back. They will suspend my kid if they protect the victim.

So I said forget sports. I put my boys back in Christian school, & home schooled my daughter.

Feel free to screen shot this & show your parents. Maybe they will believe another adult that school is worse now than when we were kids.

By the way. I’m not white. I’m Native American. Married a white woman. Kids look white. I went to some inner city gang infested school. I didn’t work hard & buy a house just to have my kids put up with the same crap in their schools. You should goto school to learn. Not feel your fighting for your life every day as gangs threaten you; & the cowardly teachers & politicians won’t protect you.