a month ago
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I'm a terrible person

To everyone out there that reads this. I'm so sorry for the bad things I have said and done. It can't be erased but I can apologize. I've said things about people that wasn't true. I honestly have no explanation to why I did it. Please know that I have never hurt anyone in a physical way. But emotionally I have. This is me saying I'm sorry for telling lies. I will be good from this point on. I can't be a bad person anymore. It's like a weird thing takes over my brain and I say terrible and sometimes untrue things about that don't deserve it. I hope you will all accept my deepest apologies and forgive me. I have to find a way to forgive myself as well. It's going to be hard. I feel a tiny bit better by apologizing but it still doesn't make what I've said ok. I wish I wouldn't do things like that. I've been dishonest. I hope God will forgive me. I wish I never said bad things. It's like a part of my brain switches off and the bad part of my brain switches on. I know that might not make sense. I have trouble understanding it myself. Maybe it comes from stuff that happened in the past that I never got over. But whatever the reason is, I deeply and sincerely apologise. Please forgive me.

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a month ago

Re: I'm a terrible person

ive been a terrible person too, i know exactly how you feel right now. ive ruined peoples lives and ive made people want to kill me. i was such a terrible person that someone beat me into the ground. now i have night mares every night about it, i guess thats just my karma for saying things i shouldnt have. i try to tell myself it isnt my fault but i know it is. im just a "bitch who deserves to die". i can never forgive myself for what has happened to me because of my actions. everyone at my school hates me and knows what happened to me. they know im easy or they know im some bitch. my life has been shit these past 2 to 3 years. im struggling to live. i dont see a life past age 18 and i have nothing left for me here. sometimes i ask god to take my life because all i do is ruin things for others or myself. if i wasnt scared to shoot myself then i would.

Well , you got it out in the open now. I know from my own exp this kinda of confession WILL bring self forgiveness and untimately peace/ acceptence.. I went through this in 95 after 21 yrs of destroying lives via C2 H5 OH, which flipped my jeckle/hyde switch. Nobody bent that elbow bringin drink to mouth but me. I think that switch gets thrown in all of Us ocassionally to right a wrong, protect our insecuritys from being "found out" / discovered, to compensate for our often mis- placed jealously's that come from our own lack of self worth/esteem, where we allow others to define who we are, which keeps the perpetual cycle going...I kinda gave it a name back then callin it the "coming to the end of yourself" where ya got no where to go but UP or to the bone yard...If ya choose life, ya gotta forgive, tear up the pre stamped death certificate and cancel the self imposed life sentence punishment previously bestowed, and start a new existence knowing your human and WILL make mistakes again BUT... Your armed NOW with knowing life is 10% of what can and will happen to ya.... 90% of how you RESPOND to it.. Living by that alone has helped tremendously! Again , congrats on your life changing confession!

To the young lady who responded first:

I felt the pain go from my finger tips on the mouse, up thru my arm, into my heart reading your reply as I deperately rack my brain for words to comfort you. FACT: Hurting ppl HURT ppl...Im sorry girl but getting knocked to the ground and beatin is NOT a punishment that fits the offensive of hurtful words spoken in anger.. Who HASNT uttered "hurtful words" spoken in the heat of the moment?..Ive had women cuss me to where a FLY wouldnt light on me, and squeezed an arm pretty hard one time, but never "beat"..A womens only defence, often being smaller, is to lashout verbally, but often pushing too far which the guy should.... hit a wall.... walk away..Im just gettin a vibe that 95 % OF your offenses have come from a deep stored up place of hurt, rather than intentional maliciousness..In other words"reactionary"..Which DOES lead to revenge, thus Karma in return keep ya in that perpetual never ending cycle.. Can you do what this young man (im guessing?) has done here today, and myself in 95 ? A VALUABLE life lesson I like to impart on you , thats served me well for decades is " you teach ppl HOW to treat you".. If YOU self deprecate, that gives off a vibe and lets others know its OK to degrade your self worth. OMG! this is SEW TRUE. Alotta ppl do that anyway outta thier OWN insecurity BUT... Its up to you , as to how you "respond" (remember the 90/10 rule...)....If seeing your own self described reply and being here has helped in any way thus far, come back with your own article and Ill be here to listen!