\tSo this sounds weird. A bit of context shall we? So when I was around six or seven years old I was playing Roblox. It's a typical kids game. You create a character, join a game, talk to people and have fun. I really liked that game. I enjoyed making new friends and just doing whatever I wanted. But one day my brothers start giving me shit. Saying stuff like "You still play that?" and "I stopped playing that before I was your age," So naturally I felt bad. I thought it was a one-time thing but no. For years my brothers constantly gave me shit. So I felt pressured to stop playing. And one day I uninstalled the game. I felt really bad since I liked the game and really liked the friends I had made on it. But I just couldn't. It was like I felt guilty for being a child. \tMaybe around two years layer my cousin and uncle moved into my grandmother's house for personal issues. My cousin was twelve at the time. She was a typical girly-girl and enjoyed being herself. She was really confident and I admired that. I was really introverted and had a not-so-steady ego. She played with dolls, played kids' games and embraced it. But then I would hear people making fun of her for doing that. I never understood playing with dolls since I'm scared of them but they were just really mean. Sure she was pretty childish because of other things, but she was happy. That's all that mattered. Right?\tYears later and I'm a teenager. And I see other people my age having fun and not caring. But every time I do anything that could be considered childish I feel really horrible about it. I feel like I can't act my age without being a stupid toddler. I wish my family wasn't so judgmental about everything. If they weren't so rude towards each other maybe I wouldn't have half of the problems that I have now. And I've never been able to talk about it because I'm still scared of admitting that I wish I could just be a kid. Just have fun like the rest of my friends. Sorry if this was long, just needed to vent. Stay safe and remember that you are worthy.