I'm a 21 years old beginner artist or was, I don't really know whether I should leave it or not. I have been drawing since I was a kid, my brothers got me to it. I started by drawing anime I saw on TV, DragonBallZ, naruto and other shows like Winx club and Ben 10.Anyway, from the past 2 years I've been getting temptations to do erotic art, I gave in and I felt good for a while til I wanted to fight my porn addiction. My art made it impossible to do that until last year when I destroyed everything and wanted to start from scratch and do clean art, And made my sketch books available for family and friends to view to keep me under control. It was cool for 2 months, when I mostly drew men, and cute faces for women. But that did not last long, I got tempted again with a strongest urge to do erotic art. And I took the temptation to draw it, and ripped the page out after wards, and it felt good, I couldn't resist for the next couple of weeks. But one day I experimented with drawing a detailed picture of erotica Tsunade, ripped the page out and jerked to it. And for the first time I felt so much guilt, like I've done a terrible thing on my baby or something, I had never masturbated to my work before and I don't think I'll ever will. I thought to my self, that this power should be reserved only for gods, I felt really bad. I stopped the habit of drawing and ripping it off because it's defeating the purpose of staying clean. But it's hard, when ever I draw females I enlarge their brests and I feel like not putting clothes on them. This intrigue the feeling to go back to watch porn and it frustrates me sometimes. It seems I can't stop this, but I really think I'm not sexually perverted, and I don't want to be. In the last two months I've been thinking of leaving drawing and changing to another ambition, and it is sad because I love it, but I'm just tired of this temptation. But, I'm so tempted to go back and draw again, I just did one character 2 days ago and it didn't end up dirty, but I think I was just lucky, next time it will devour me. It is also sad because my nephew is looking up to me and I'd hate to tell him that I'm no longer drawing. It is super sad that I removed all my porn triggers, which was mostly anime, some video games I liked and cosplayer, or deviant art which I loved dearly but had to sacrifice. But now my only trigger is my own art😔why. I am thinking of closing my Instagram account and move on to my new ambition but I feel like not also. My new ambition is witting poetry, or novels,or short stories but I'm very bad at it, but they give me somewhat of the same satisfaction as my art. But I still miss drawing though. Thanks for listening internet, what do you think I should do, I've tried to change interests in my art and do nature, but all genres bore me except character design, so I quitThanks again