4 months ago
Time Spent- 30m
19 Visitors

I'm done trying.

I know i shouldn't be on here because i am in 8th grade but for as long as I can remember, my mom has always been abusive towards me and enjoys seeing the pain in my eyes. When I was in 6th grade, I thought I found the LOML. I was wrong on so many levels. We broke up the following summer, so about 9 months later. I remember getting bullied to the point it was becoming physical and made me bleed a lot. Along with that my mom has been beating me at home. People don't suspect anything of the bruises and cuts and scars. I'm on the soccer team so I say i got them from there. This has been going on for almost 3 years. I remember this time I was home alone and i was so tempted to just end it all right there in the kitchen. I'm in so much pain now. I tried contacting my dad that left my mom about 7 years ago because they divorced and my dad couldn't take care of me due to my mother taking his belongings and money. My dad to this day can't take care of me, not because he is poor, he has plenty of money now. He can't take me in because he remarried and his new wife, my step-mom, doesn't want me to stay with them. I'm so drained from this world. There is no point in me staying if i'm going to be tortured. I'm sorry but this is my final message. no joke, it's time. I love you all and i will be watching over all of you in a short amount of time. Stay safe guys. :)





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4 months ago

Re: I'm done trying.

I love you. I’m sorry for you. All you have to do is live till 16. Then you can move on your own & become happy. Please read this.

Life was hard. But by my mid 20’s it started looking up. I married my best friend. Bought a house. Got a great job. Had kids. In my 40’s I met my favorite athlete ever. Nearing 50 I made a friend. They had music connections. I met a lot of famous singers. In high school I had a crush on a singer. Well i got to hang out with her in my 40’s. I watched my kids win academic awards. Play music. Win city; state, & even a national Title. At an out of state sports event i met an actor. He’s one of my favorites. Very cool. Ive owned a cool old sportscar; & a BMW. Ive surfed & dived. Hung out the side of a military helicopter. Helped build something that went to Mars. I got emergency training. Ive saved lives. I breathed life into a boy who turned blue. Saved a tiny girl. Had I killed myself Id never have experienced all of those amazing things later in life. I Love You. Jesus loves you. Please learn to love your self. To calm myself I watch comedies. I listen ro fun music; I sing & dance. I stare at flashing Christmas lights on my wall; or a lava lamp on the dresser as I listen to calm music or watch TV as I drift off to sleep. I hug a large pillow as I go to sleep. Who knows what your life has in store if yiu just have the courage to live it. My best moments were holding my wifes hand. Our first kiss. My kids being born; learning to walk, & saying I Love You Daddy. You get to treat your kids the way you wish you’d been treated. Dont quit. Live this life. Stay in your seat until your turn is over. Then go to Heaven. It will wait on you. I Love You. Jesus loves you. Please learn to love your self. To calm myself I watch comedies. I listen ro fun music; I sing & dance. I stare at flashing Christmas lights on my wall; or a lava lamp on the dresser as I listen to calm music or watch TV as I drift off to sleep. I hug a large pillow as I go to sleep. God Bless

Online therapy. Talkspace.com $65 week. Maybe this will be a good site if dont want goto officr. I goto an office. Ive heard this is a good online option.

Why do you have suicidal thoughts. It starts with brain chemistry; DNA, & environment your brain developed in. You feel depressed; anxious; sad; unloved, & hopeless. Since most of you are like me ill talk a lot about me here. I care too much. If I watch the news i worry about people in wrecks; imigrants; the poor; hurt cops; hurt victims. i cry for people killed. i pray for people & their souls. i worry about my family; friends; neighbors, co-workers, even people who are mean to me. I worry about the environment; endangered species; old growth forest. i worry about the disabled; homeless, elderly. i worry about little boys with no dads. i worry sbout adteroids hitting the earth. I literally lived in a dump for yrs to givr $ to my mom & sister to help their kids. i bought them each s home. Paid for my sisters education. Even though my mom abandoned me as a boy. Even though my sister mollested me; stole from me, & for real tried to kill me. Even after marriage i kept taking from us to give to them. I would help strangers in stores. Help people with broke down cars. Give everyone a ride home. Buy people lunch. Help people in wrecks. It took having kids for me to grow up & find a balance. Ill discuss that next.

How I found a balance. I realized i had a responsibilty to myself. To live for myself. Enjoy life. To put my wife & childrens needs ahead of my family; friends; coworkers, & strangers. i still helped peoole in wrecks if i was the best option. sometimes i only calied for help. but thats still helping. I rarely took people home any more. I did good deeds & helped people; just a lot less of them. i put my kids & wife first. Me next. The rest of the world after that.

Again. Online therapy. Talkspace.com $65 week. Maybe this will be a good site if dont want goto officr. I goto an office. Ive heard this is a good online option.

If you have to; call a suicidal hotline. Call 9-1-1 & say you are child & suicidal. Don’t just quit on us baby. I love you.


Please don’t give up. You matter to this world you have a place and purpose. Please call child protective services st DSS and report what your mother is doing. You do not deserve this abuse! I know it’s scary and she’s your mother but she needs help. More importantly you need help! And there are people out here that want to help you. I am one of them!!!! I am so very sorry that you were going through this but you don’t have to continue going through it!!! What your mom is doing is illegal. Please talk to someone and let them know what’s going on. Call an adult you trust. Tell your school counselor call the department of social services Tell her friends mother call the police if you have to. The abuse has got to stop!!! But if no one knows about it they can’t help you.Please respond to this message. I will help you anyway I can. If you would just let me know what state and city you were in I can get names and numbers of resources for you. You don’t have to tell me who you are just tell me where you are. I want to help you. I care about you. I don’t have to know you to care about you. Please reach out . Praying for you