I’ve noticed lately I’ve been getting fatter, seeing stretch marks on my thighs, and my stomach, and my double chin is getting bigger. I can’t look at myself without pulling something back, sucking something in, wishing I was skinny. I just.. I know it’s my fault, and I should be getting my ass up and workout out, and start to eat healthier, so I can’t really complain, and I’ll start.. it’s just sometimes I wanna cut everything off. Take a saw blade and chop off everything that I’m self conscious about. I think about hurting myself sometimes, but it won’t help anything. I’ll just be forced to look at my pathetic attempts at running away from my problems instead of doing something about it. I wish I didn’t have this body, I wish I was pretty, I wish I was skinny. But wishing doesn’t do shit. I keep saying I’ll start, and I do, but never fucking last more than three days working out, god why am I such a failure? A fat fucking failure.