I'm a male.from the age of 7, I've fantasized about being beat up, verbally abused, and after the age of eleven, emotionally manipulated and raped. I do not know why. My family doesn't have any known history of sexual abuse, but my birth parents are former addicts and may have abused each other. I just need to tell this to somebody because I'm scared that people will think I'm insane, dangerous, or lying. I don't want to like these things, because they could affect my attitude in future relationships. I've always had the mentality that it's my responsibility to please other people so that they don't hate me, it sounds dumb, but I have such a low viewpoint of myself that I think I don't deserve to be unconditionally loved. Just needed to put this out there.