Sometimes I want to kill my fucking parents. I would never do it, ya know? But sometimes I just wish they were dead. They have the worst parenting skills in the entire universe. It’s not like they weren’t ever around, but they both... just fucking suck. Hear me out. my dad was the first child in a family of four. He never got any attention, his mother was a lying cunt who told him he had a deadly disease that would kill him by the time he was 25 (obviously this is incorrect). His father would beat him with a brush and poor shit water on him to wake him up. He mentally and physically abused him, and my dad has a lot of religious trauma, as they used to drag him to church. Him and his siblings were never aloud to listen to anything that wasn’t fucking gospel music, and the only movie they ever watched was the prerecorded 1970 off broadway production of Oklahoma. They were very poor until my grandfather won a big lawyer case, but by then he was almost out of the house. Obviously he’s fucked up. My my mom grew up extremely rich and lived in mansions until she graduated high school. Her mom was also a fucking cunt, and forced her to take up extreme activities she didn’t want to do. This caused her to suffer from stress and anxiety, so much so that her hair started to fall out until she quit some of them. Her family moved around due to her dads job, and she never got much attention. Her old sister, my aunt, is who they call their ‘miracle baby’ because they had trouble having kids in the past. Because of this, my mom was often overlooked and ignored. So yeah... she’s super fucked up. My parents met at law school, and married really young. Like, really young. Like he was 25 and she was 20. That type of young. My dad proposed to her and they got married. My mom found out she had skin cancer and so to “carry out her legacy” or some bullshit they had me. Yeah. I was conceived to carry out my mother’s great legacy, but now I’m a gay burnt out gifted kid that smokes weed 24/7 and is currently failing all my classes, so that plan fucking failed. The skin cancer went away but returned two years later, along with Bell’s palsy, which paralyzed half of my moms face. So... could you guess what my parents brilliant plan was? You guessed it! Have another baby. And then in the summer of 2009 by brother was born. And he sucks too, but we’ll get into that later. I was was born in Chicago and then we moved to bumblefucknowhere in Illinois. And my life was fine. I guess. Not that I remember shit, or anything. I always thought my dads anger was normal. I mean, we had the cry at the dinner table over math problems, but it was always so much worse than that. I think I realized it when I was five. I had a tea party with my neighbors, and remember this because it will come in handy later, I asked my brother if her wanted to join. He said no, he’d just be the jester or whatever the fuck that meant. So I built my tea party around the idea that he wouldn’t be sitting with us. Well. The time comes and my dumbass brother decides, no he does want to be included so he fucking takes my seat and when I ask for it back, he slaps me. So I leave to go tell my dad and he takes my fucking brothers side. So I get angry, and my dad gets so angry he breaks the fucking table and the glass window. He sends me upstairs and I remember peeking through my door to see my party guests being shoved out the door. One of them was crying. This was purely just the beginning. A couple months later my brother and I were watching tv. And he wanted to change the watch fucking wild Kratz or whatever the fuck, but I was watching some fucking dog tv show or something and I said no. So he punched me in the stomach with a hockey stick and bashed my head in with one of those stupid claw hand things. So I hit him with a pillow. Naturally. I got a a brain injury from that fucking move, and my brother won that little argument somehow. Let’s run through a list of just a few things my father has done. he broke our back door and the window trying to get our dog to be quiet. Growing up we had a yellow lab named Zadie. She was a dumbass, but she was really sweet. She liked to lay at my dads feet while he cooked. But she kept tripping him so he kept her outside. For like her whole entire life. She died out there after she got so injured, she got cancer. once my friend was over and me and my brother were playing grocery store with her. Mind you, we were like 11 here, so we knew what was going on. I showed my brother some perfume and some got in his eye. He overreacted and my dad spent 3 hours screaming and hitting me while my friend watched. He didn’t let her leave. Once my dad tried getting a head start in math with me, so in first grade, he tried teaching me multiplication. I was 5. I didn’t understand it. Because, you know. I was five. So he yelled at me. our neighbors have three kids. And they all are kind of annoying, but I enjoy hanging out with them. So whenever I’d bring them over, my dad would yell at me for bringing them into our house. Once a bag of chips went missing from the cabinet, and he blamed me. I told him I didn’t eat them, and he started making it crazy excuses that he hoped I would agree with. One of which was the neighbors kids had eaten them. So he marched me over there and demanded they buy us chips if they had eaten them. They said they didn’t know anything and my dad yelled at me in front of them.Turns out my mom had eaten the chips. Remember when I said my dads mom was a lying cunt? Well, because my brother is “so great” he thought I had to be the one that inherited her trait. So he grilled me about my day. He asked what I had eaten, and because I had been unknowingly self harming by starving myself, the only thing I had eaten that day was a mint. He didn’t believe me and he screamed and hit me for days on end. once I showed interest in acting, my dad showed me a lot of clips from extremely deep and inappropriate films that a child should never see at such a young age. He showed me movies like on the water front, raging bull, goodfellas or citizen cane. He told me it would build character and I’d thank him later in my acting career. thats only naming a few. One of the biggest thing was when I turned 11 and “graduated” elementary school. I had gotten my very first phone. TikTok had just started becoming popular so I downloaded it along with instagram and Snapchat. He found out when I had left my phone unlocked. He screamed at me for hours. Since then he put every restriction on my phone possible. He checks it constantly. I can’t swear, have social media or have many friends on different apps. I have tiktok, Snapchat and Instagram, but my biggest fear is that he will actually kill me if he finds them. He will deny all of this of course. It’s always, your memory is awful, not maybe I’m wrong this time. He never takes into account that I have a life. He’ll tell me to do the dishes and then get mad at me if I’m not doing them before he asked. Yeah sure, it’s not like I’m doing homework and trying to stay afloat in this mountain of algebra. Once I yelled at him and he slammed the door and shouted, “EVERYONE, MY DAUGHTER, THE SMART ASS IS IN A “MOOD”. and I get it, he was raised in an abusive household, and vowed he would never do the same. But he is, and just doesn’t realize it. He never says sorry, and gaslights me and my brother into making us think he’s the victim. I’m not allowed to do anything really. I’m not allowed to get a new phone even though I’ve had the same one for 4 years. I’m not allowed to drink monster or date. I’m not allowed to get anything pierced ever, and if I don’t finish everything in my plate, im a “ungrateful little bitch who deserves nothing.” He doesn’t help me with anything, and barely realizes I’m not ok. Last year I fell into a 7 month long depressive episode. I attempted twice. I started starving myself. I never went outside. And he just blamed it on being a teenager. He blames everything on being a teenager. Even if I just am tired or angry or sad, it’s just, she’s a teenager, not oh, those cuts on her wrists might be bad. Yeah that’s my dad. He just doesn’t know it. He Doesn’t know that he’s the reason I cry myself to sleep or the reason why I cut myself. A guy I met on Omegle actually helped me better than he ever did. On to my mom I guess: my my mom is a lot better. She’s nicer, a lot more helpful and she understands me, because we unfortunately share the Same mind. We think the same and I’ve always despised that fact. But, where my dad is just angry all the time, my mom is just passive aggressive. I broke a cup once and she didn’t talk to me for three weeks. She gets angry randomly and out of spite. She has no empathy whatsoever. No one in my family does except me, and it’s sucks. Like my dad, she never takes into thought what I’m going through, and she just always seems tired of the fact that I exist. She backs up my dad on whatever he says, and it’s not like he hits her or anything, so she’s not scared of him. They argue a lot or when they don’t, it’s just so boring. She only ever really spends time with our dog an her coworker, Jocelyn. My brother. You know how I said my mom and I share the same mind? Well, my dad and my brother share the same mind. They're exactly alike. They even look the same. They’re both mentally abusive and my brother is super sexist, even if he doesn’t know it or tries not to be. Here’s a short list of things my brother has done. I tried to reach out to him and show him my interests, and he left I used to talk in my sleep and once he punched me in the stomach because I was “being to loud.”he frequently invites his friends over, and because my room is the biggest, they have WWE matches in it. Once they broke a lamp, tore my carpet and completely destroyed and cracked my bed.hes hit my hon the stomach with a hockey stick, twice.he victimized himself in every situation we’ve ever been inive only ever really connected with my cousin Matthew, and once he figured it out, he started calling Matthew before me, FaceTiming him in between classes, and once we’d meet up, they would ignore mehe once pushed me off a rock climbing wall and I broke my anklemy family recently just moved and he got two bedrooms, because “I didn’t call it first.” My parents let him take both.he once pushed me into a pond. I ended up crushing a frog and I cried so bad I threw up he once smashed my iPad because he didn’t like bridge to teribethiai love making movies and acting. For mother’s day I made my mom a movie including all the reasons I loved her, including interviews from her sisters. When my brother found out he copied me and I couldn’t show my present to her because it looked like I just copied off his idea. The same thing happened again for Father’s Day. I saved up a whole bunch of money to buy my dad a watch. My brother begged me to let him say the gift was from the two of us and i said no. So he wrote “love you” on a baseball one of my favorite baseball players had given to me (and it was signed) and gave it to my dad. My dad never wore the watch, but he keeps the baseball on his desk. So that’s my family story. I think I’m in an abusive household, but I’m afraid to label it like that because I have it easy compared to a lot of people. My family is fairly rich and we live in a good neighborhood with easy access to food, water, medical care and shelter. None of my family members lost their jobs during the pandemic. Everyone in my community was supportive when I came out as Bi and gender fluid. I never got bullied, and I always had food in my stomach. But as I’m rereading this from someone else’s perspective, I would say it’s an extremely abusive household and I would tell myself to leave immediately. The whole reason I’m even writing this is because my dad took all of my electronics because I was drawing when he asked me too do the dishes and I apparently hesitated too long. What should I do? help lol, Skya.