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I'm in love with an abusive junkie..

He physically threatens me, he injects cocaine, he lies, he steals. He pressures me to do things that are illegal and morally wrong. I have been arrested for smuggling drugs into a federal prison on his pressuring me. I have hidden him from authorities and went on the run with him. He has stolen money from me. He has damaged my property in anger. He suffers from drug psychosis and when high is dilusional and scary.

I made him leave 5 days ago when once again he was high, threatening me physically and refusing to leave. I left our home and contacted the police to see what my options were.. I asked them to wait for my call back to see if he would leave peacefully and he left without police presence. He has done many years incarcerated and is still on probation, involving police would have put him back in jail.

He is now homeless, broke and desperate..sober he is the kindest man I have ever been with. I miss him so much, but he's toxic. It's ripping me apart not to reach out, help him and just be with him. I'm so sad..