I'm lonely and I know that I have friends I just feel alone, I feel lost. I'm not sad just numb and I don't see the point in doing things anymore. We do things to be successful but why? I guess I just want what I had in the past but I know that I can't go back. But maybe I just want people to talk to in general. I'm just unsure and tired I guess.I don't know I feel like people think I'm weird and I'm constantly feeling the regret of my past. I'm such a bad person I deserve to just disappear. The number of things I do for people and hope they would do the same. But no it's all unfair and one-sided and I'm all alone. I hate this I hate everything. It's been so long since I haven't been feeling this weight of being alone and i literally wish it wasn't this way. This feeling is craving for so much and is so needy I hate it. I just want to feel happy again. How stupid of me to not appreciate the friends that tried to help before i cut them all off. I'm living in regret and constantly getting mad that it's ruining me but I'm also just lonely. I just wish it'd get better i wish i wasn't so numb and mean i wish i was happy i wish i wasn't always begging to not be alone i wish i could feel happy i wish i had her again.