I've always had to put 180% of my effort into relationships because no one seems to contact me first, and I have to keep the conversation going. I've fallen out of contact with a lot of people because of this and now I only have 2 friends left. both rarely text me.
one no longer tells me anything about her life anymore, and I'm worried she no longer likes me and is trying to drop me. we've been best friends for 6 years and have known each other for 8, but our communication has kinda sucked this past year.
the other never texts me first and often doesnt even reply to my texts. I know shes around because she talks in group chats to her other friends around the same time. I'm worried she doesnt like talking to me and she only interacts with me out of pity, or because she would feel bad leaving me.
having no friends to really talk to has taken a huge toll on my mental health. I feel extremely lonely every day and I watch movies and tv shows and read books to fill the gap. I feel very hollow and I dont know what to do. I dont know how to make friends over the internet, and who's to say they'll even stick around. I feel really sh*tty and often cry at night.
I don't know what to do. I feel lost and the loneliness is eating away at me. I sleep most of the day so I dont have to think about anything, and I keep myself distracted when awake.
I cant keep doing this but I feel so goddamn terrible all the time. I need help but I dont know where to go or what to do.