i’m lost and full of shame

Time Spent- 5h 42m
37 Visitors

a few months back while i was at school i had a guy friend. we’d talk a lot and joke around. one day he touched my ass and then attempted to touch my vagina, which he did. he’d corner me in the doorway making sure nobody saw and i couldn’t leave. i felt powerless, but i just made a joke out of it. the next few months continuous sexual comments about my body and how he wanted to touch my tits occurred. back then i didn’t know what to think or how to react. i’d go home feeling happy that he thought i was attractive, but then ended up crying myself to sleep because i felt so disgusting. now a few months later i feel horrible, every time i think of this man i feel like vomiting. i’m SURE he has no recollection of those moments, as he treated it like nothing. but i think about it everyday, and how i was treated like property. is that what men actually think of me? i haven’t told anyone about this situation but 2 friends i trust with my life. this guy is horrible, he’s made several racist, homophobic, sexual, etc. “jokes” in the past that made a numerous amount of people uncomfortable. i’m hurt i‘m not the only person affected by this cruel human being. now that i don’t talk to him i feel guilty. i feel like i should’ve stepped in back then and told him what a distasteful human being he is. i cant believe i have him the right to continue doing this to other innocent souls. and now this is the guilt i deal and wake up to every single day.