theres a girl i like, but shes my ex. it's been 7 months now shes my bestfriend but i lied to her i told her i dont like her but i still do it's because im just scared and i just hate that she keeps distance off people that like her. I sacrifice my sleep and time for her all the time. But she doesnt see it. i really wish she'd see the pain i go through for her everyday and the amount of times i've gotten in trouble for her but she doesnt know. I'm always there for her, but i dont think shes there for me it feels so one sided i dont understand it. I feel like no one will ever do the same for the things i do, i feel so blind i really do. Everyday its hurting i just want to die i dont want to be alive anymore everythings so complicated i help it. I do all of these things and try to help people, God i even helped her when she tried to kill herself. But if i were to kill myself who would help me? I dont think theres anyone and it just hurts. It hurts that i'm always the friend people that people turn to for advice and help. Everyday i just crumble all of my feelings and it makes me sick.