Im not doing good
I don’t know how to be fully happy sober
Any time I’m alone my thoughts swallow me whole , torturing me as I cry myself to sleep.
I think I’m getting worse sometimes I remember my past plans and ask myself why I never succeeded , I want to cut myself I want to starve myself I want to cease to exist but I don’t want to let down the ppl in my life. I want to ask for help but I’m scared. I don’t want them to know I’m struggling again, because I’m always struggling and there’s going to be a point where they get tired of it. Tired of me and my inihibility to look after myself.
I want to let go , I want to rest . I’m so tired.
I want to fall into Ana’s arms and let her take care of me
I don’t know what to do . I keep pretending I’m fine , I keep pretending tht there’s no way I wld go back . But it’s happening. And I don’t know how to stop it