...Vent...? --------------(mention of mental issues, lgbt, etc) "Why cant you be normal once?" "Why cant you stop skipping school?" "You arent sick! being absent isnt an excuse" ["people never said these to me, yet i kept on overthinking"] "Your doing fine, you just need a therapist" ["You got it!"]"Mom, Big sis isnt sick! She doesnt need a therapist nor doctor!" ["you got it..."] "You always tell me you dont want to go to school! Its starting to get annoying! I gave you therapy. Why...?" ["you got it..."] "Your getting more sensitive through the year." ["You got it."] -------------------------"Your bisexual? Thats nice to hear, we support you" ["You got it!"]"loving the same gender is weird, your not supposed to do that." ["You got it." ]"Im sorry sweetie, but being not straight is weird. We dont support it...were sorry"["You got it."] -------------------------------Im tired of being stressed over stuff everyday. I changed alot through in real life, and it sucks. At the age of 11, i had a "problem" that is called headaches. That would cause me to feel like shiT and dont feeling like going to school. I feel lonely at school, ever since i told my friends i like anime and stuff. They dont talk to me anymore. It hurts. Never told them my problems, because i lost trust in them but i still love them. I gotten sensitive, started to overthink alot, dont want to go outside, worrying about how others think of me. Scared that my mom will know im bisexual, scared that to have no friends. Having no more confidence in myself anymore, losing friends. hurting them without knowing. Being an example of an oldest siblings is hard, we need to be fine. When were feeling "sick", "Mom, she's not even sick! look at her! she's on the phone!!" while im on the phone to get rid of the unnecessary thoughts. Being insecure of my body, wanting to be beautiful so non would judge me. Knowing this is wrong to let negative to over come but it's too difficult to handle it.Right now, Im currently turning 13 in three months.(3rd of janaury 2021) Im scared to go back to school. It just overwhelms me to see people, might be thinking me as weirdo, quite kid, problem kid..i became an introvert. Having a fake persona on the internet that causes myself to loses precious online friends. It hurts, i want to make it up to them. But i couldnt, mistakes were made. There's no turning back. Based on my real life friends, hoping that they were here for me when im not doing well. They're always doing good, whenever they needed help. I was there, i tried to seek help but fear over came me. I didnt had the courage. Just imaging the life at school scares me, people looking at me. Thinking what i am. its just painfully scary...few hours ago i was just the normal girl i was but im not feeling fine now.I feel like im setting a bad example. i need to stop having problems of myself. People tell me that im a nice person online, because im "sweet", "caring" and a good "listener". I tell myself everyday that im not that person, oh how my fake persona killed friendships. no one should ever have so MANY problems, but here i am. i wish anyone that is close to me would understand but im scared to say it.its hard, extremely hard. trying to act okay while im ruining my own health by watching the phone late night, over eat or just dont feel like eating. Mom would look at me and say, "your overthinking, im worried. Please calm down." how do you tell someone that your not fine? i think thats hard. Well...thats a bit long...but hey...thank you for reading.