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I’m not hungry

I don’t really know how to start this. I hate my body. Normally I only eat dinner but I’m still not skinny. I hate myself for thinking this way I know it’s bad for me. But, every time I see someone tell the story of their eating disorder it it make me want to starve myself for day. I remember one time I was eating my favorite, a peanut butter and honey sandwich, and I well I could barely eat it I was gagging the entire time. I wanted to throw it up. Normally I’m able to resist all the thoughts in my head telling me to eat nothing, but lately it’s getting harder to ignore them. There starting to convince me that it’s okay to be this way and if I do what they say I can be skinny. I don’t want this to get any worse but I don’t think I can reach out for help. Everyone thinks I eat a lot but the truth is ya I eat a lot of things but I only take one or two bites. I don’t know what to do anymore.