I envy the dead, and I feel like a burden to everyone around me. I am always everyone’s support system, yet I constantly contemplate suicide myself. With a smile on my face, I happily listen to others, and give them advice. I almost can’t take it anymore. These intrusive thoughts are horrendous, and tiring. I’m tired. School is a nightmare. I‘m 14. I’m 14, and dealing with this. I do not deserve this. I do nothing but good. Manifestation isn’t real. Something has cursed me with this awful present, and I’m afraid it’ll pass into my future as well, that is- if I even get to see it.