I’m not sure

Time Spent- 1h 19m
40 Visitors

Well I guess I’m trying this weird thing last year just a little bit after Christmas I found out that my girlfriend was pregnant I’ve never been more happy in my whole life my entire life I’ve never had much and had to fight for everything I made so many mistakes so many things I wish I could change however this one thing was my miracle I felt as if I could never do anything right but this this was my chance to create something better than me and I did I remember listening for hours on her stomach waiting for that first heartbeat and then I actually heard it and I remember immediately tearing up because at that moment I was the happiest person in the whole world life struggles money school none of it mattered to me in the moment just this so the few weeks pass and I end up losing my baby girl and I never really got a chance to deal with it I had to immediately shove everything down because I wanted to help her and I was so worried that she was going to take her own life every day I will try to talk to her she would get more distant and cold put in a matter what I kept pushing forward I tried my best to be there for her no matter what our problems were or anything that happened in the past the pain she was dealing with was unbearable more than I could ever understand but in time she just became so broken to the point were I don’t think she loved me anymore every time I would try to do anything nice she would always scream at me and I just tried my best to understand everything because God knows I was going through myself and then she left me just a little bit later I’d like to think I’m a strong person mentally I know everyone has gone through their own problems and I would never ever expect anyone to intervene but at the same time I know I’m not that person anymore that version of me everything of who I used to be died and now I’m left with a shell I fight every day to stay just for my parents because I don’t know what they would do if I was gone but as of lately I feel my strength getting getting weaker and I know that time is approaching but as every day passes I would’ve thought I would’ve been more frightened by it however every day I feel less and less but I’m at the point where I’m just hoping the pain will stop one way or another just leaving me to this this will either be the last thing I write or this will be a new chapter in my life I’m gonna let fate decide