I'm okay

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So I guess some context would be good. I'm 19 and I go to a great college, my family is ok, my grades are ok... but I feel so unsatisfied and anxious. I can't help but list my shortcomings and one little thing has sent me spiralling. I keep a little folder with all my information in it and now I can't find it. I also need it so I can go take my driver's behind the wheel test because I'm pathetic and can't drive (I've failed enough times to know this). So not only have I lost an important item I need really soon I am procrastinating on my finals papers because I really don't want to do them. Sure I could complain about my parents getting divorced during quarantine, my younger sister graduating a year early and going to my Uni to do a "better major", and I only have one friend who I talk to on zoom and no one else but I know that all these complaints aren't warranted because I brought this all onto myself. I know that if I really wanted to I could fix most of the things that make me feel like a terrible person. Like I could have pushed myself harder in school. I could have picked a better major. I could stop procrastinating. I could have gotten my driver's license in high school. But most of all I could have kept track of the essential things I need like my folder with all my important information and IDs in it. I mean for gosh sake we are in quarantine there are only so many places I could have lost it. I don't even leave the house for most things how the heck do I lose something so important and valuable? For anyone that has made it to this part I apologize and thank you for reading. Most of this is rhetorical and me venting away my stupidity.

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