You see... I know who you are actually.
I have seen you reply to people, I have read your own things.. I feel like a stalker cause whenever I click on someones writing and then read their replies your almost always on there..
I know this because you always say your 60 now.
I wanna say, from what ive seen and what you have told people you really are a good person at heart... I recently turned fourteen and its still the same.
But you said something one time in one of your articles that I truly liked, you talked about how your parents never truly understood or loved you the way you wanted them too(something along those lines) and it just kind of stuck with me.
I recently got into contact with my mother again like literally not even a week ago.. She wants to meet up, she wants to apoligize for all the mistakes and shit she has put me through.. to be honest I thought I was going to see her.. I in the end though could not. I didnt want her to kidnap me and sell my body or just me in general.. I didnt want to be a sex slave.. Her uncle, my great uncle, had brutally raped and drugged me to the point where I had major seizures and did go into cardiac arrest. She since then, "hasnt been the same". Its honestly such such bullshit, i think about her and my mother everyday and it never gets better. i have dreams of both of them killing me. She has been through so much, and I get that, I completely understand that. But me being only fourteen and know how to handle almost all of the shit that not only did she put through, but also caused, just shows how much older I could ever act compared to her..
My brother, you said help my brother..
I wish everyday and pray to god for me to be able to help him.. He is in a mentally and manipulative home that we both lived in four about five years together, and then about a year ago, I had to leave because they decided they wanted to adopt him and only him.. I was a very upset eight year old, I ran from home all the time, I stole shit from people and I did a lot of drugs..
Its also very hard to have a kind and gentle relationship with my brother because we both have a lot of the same trauma, I have a lot more sexual trauma because my mother made me watch her and my dad have sex when I was only seven or eight. that was and will forever be burnt into my memory.. i will never forgo nor forepast that..
Me and my brother have something that is called a, "trauma bond". If you dont know what that is, you can look it up or I can just tell you..
So because me and my brother have similar trauma we both have similar triggers, for me its loud noises.. Anything like a loud bang or pow or anything of the sort gets my anxiety up and high. And for my brother thats all he does, so I always end up in a hurt state all the time. For him, its soft and quiet anything.. Anything soft and quiet or just complete silence makes my brother go nuts.. So as you can see its very very hard, we trigger eachother so much we could probably like idk..
god bless and best wishes to you sir..
if you even see this:)