I’m so sad. All the time I’m so sad. I read constantly. Like I mean, 2 books a day if I can do it. I read so I can take my mind off of everything. When I don’t have a book to read, I just lay in bed and take a unisom pill or I’ll cry. Cleaning and showering take effort. So much so, that I normally nap when I’m done. I am so sad. I wanted tuna noodle casserole today. It took me 4 hours to get the energy and motivation to leave my house and go to the store for the ingredients. They didn’t have egg noodles. And I only wanted it with the egg noodles.I don’t think I like my boyfriend anymore. But the thought of losing him upsets me. I’m 22 and I work at a gas station because I can’t afford college. I also don’t know what I want to do with my life. I’m not close with my sisters. Mainly because they’re morally corrupt. I don’t speak with my dad. I haven’t for over a year. My windshield to my car is broken. i can’t afford to fix it. I can’t find a good book to read. and all these things aren’t even what makes me sad. When I lay in bed at night, I don’t dwell on these things. I upset that I’m alive. And before anyone thinks I’m suicidal, I’m not. I don’t think about killing myself. I only wish that I didn’t exist. I don’t want to exist but I’m afraid to die. im so sad. And I’m so anxious. And I’m so depressed.