Hey, it’s S again I’ve poster here a couple of times. I’m really scared. Not of another person, but of myself. I’m a very damaged person. I’ve started cutting recently. It’s always on my mind. It never stops it’s on repeat. I’m scared I’m gonna kill myself. I can’t move because I know if I do I’m gonna do something I’ll regret. I wanna call the suicide hotline but if I do and I don’t end up attempting. My parents will see that I called the hotline. I don’t want them to judge me more than they already do. I can’t handle that. I just wanna disappear. I wanna know if anyone will care when I’m gone. I’m only 15. It’s been around a month since I started cutting. I used to do it around 2 years ago, but it was just my finger tips so it didn’t seem as bad. When I first did it I was shocked. I never thought I would ever stoop that low. Then I kept doing it. It went from my wrist to my thighs. Now my thoughts are scaring me. I just keep thinking about carving further and further down into my arm. I’m scared. So so scared. I’ve cried so much in the past week that I’m not able to cry anymore. I feel almost numb again. I don’t wanna think anymore. But the thoughts just keep going through my head over and over and over again. I want them to shut up. I hate noise. It scares me. I just wanna cover my ears and let the silence fill my head. But my brain won’t just shut up. I don’t know what to do. I just the thoughts to go away. Maybe if I just do as they say they’ll go away. I don’t know. I don’t know what to do. What if they never stop? I don’t know what to do. Help me please. Any advice is much appreciated.