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suicidal ideation
depression suicide

I'm such a asshole brother

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Hi everyone there was a time in my life when I used to have suicidal thoughts alot. Everyday they only thing that kept me standing was a question. "How would your little brother feel when he needs you but your not?" For awhile that question haunted me day and night. He did know what was going through my mind and nobody knew which was a great thing. See before I started feeling that way I was a very smart person who was praised all the time and it felt amazing. Until one day it became hard to be that person and I felt like no matter what I did it was never good enough. What hurts me the most is the fact my little brother is going through the sad situation as me and I couldn't fucking see it. I had a conversation with him about it and he was in Goddamn tears. He then looked me in the eyes and said "Nobody believes in me not even you." All I could do was sit there and hold back my tears because he was right and I didn't want to face the fact that he was right. I understand everything he's going through but I was like everybody else who wronged me and I can't take it. I gonna help my little brother I have to because I'm not sure if he will win the battle if he gets those types of suicidal thoughts.

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