i'm terrified to have a kid, let alone grow up. no, i'm not pregnant. but i'm afraid that i'll be with my boyfriend at some point in the future and get so much sexual want that i'll bang him and then i'll get pregnant even tho i was super careful. it's not that i'm afraid to give birth, i'm afraid of how my kid will turn out. it's actually one of the main reasons i want to kill myself. i have a half sister and she has a kid, but my family and friends always say how they would be so excited to see me as a mom. i feel like my kid will turn out like me, so much self hatred, so much hatred towards others, and lots of pain. i don't want them to go through that. i don't know why i think about this now, i've got a couple years and then i'm an adult, but i don't really want to live to see the day that happens.
Re: i'm terrified of having a kid
your kid will be a better version of yourself, its with my personal experience, the new beautiful soul you get on this planet will be a better version of yourself, you will protect him from the hardships you have faced and give him all the love to be a better human. The new generation will change the world to be a better place.
Do not worry about it, it will be a beautiful journey