4 months ago
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i'm thinking of ending things.

I don't feel like fighting anymore. I've built up this facade of myself my entire life, my parents, friends and family think I'm happy. I'm nothing more but a laughingstock to my classmates. I'm no one. I don't know how to be happy anymore. So much weight, so much regret and suffering weighing me down.

I don't know what to do but end things.

I can't even say any of this to an adult because they'll just call me weak and a sinner and will go straight to hell.

It's like either way, I can't win. Life is a constant hurting, and my afterlife would be the same?

I just want to take a break. I just want to feel happy for once. I just want something or anything to help me.

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4 months ago

Re: i'm thinking of ending things.

Hang in there! I feel the same way all the time but life keeps going and there’s always something to life for. A pet, a friend, a sunny day, a good song. Try to focus on the good as hard as that may be. Don’t give up. Talk to someone in your life, anyone. People care about you even if they don’t always show it.

I'm going through a difficult time myself. 

My situation is definitely different from yours, but I'm sure it evokes the same, seemingly never-ending feeling of pain in us.

I once also wondered what it would be like to end it.as I thought about it, I expected to feel overwhelmed by the fear of death, but nothing.THAT scared me.

But it's probably a good thing when you think about it. I believe that everyone's life has some meaning, a task that he must complete before he dies. And maybe once someone will be in a dangerous situation and I won't be afraid to save him. Take a bullet for him, look death in the eye, and say I didn't die in vain.

Therefore, I would rather live with that pain and believe that one day my pain will save someone else from the pain.

I get the suicidality and hope you can find something to give you joy and hope. Weight is tough but beatable, I went whole food plant based and started running very slow at first but I can now run 10km a day without walking and I have never been athletic. Check out game

changers on Netflix and google “silencing the inner critic“ cuz all that self hate is your inner critic and it’s a liar.

I lost my 14 yr old son to suicide and as a parent please don’t take your life. You may think that there is nothing out there for you but believe me there is. Life is hard today but it will get better! My son had a flash depression over something he said to someone that wasnt nice and he thought that he should die over it. Life has its ups and downs and there are things we do that we regret but that’s a part of life! We make mistakes, we as humans do things because we don’t know better or maybe we do but that doesn’t mean we should end our lives over it. I felt so much guilt over the loss of my son I almost took my life. But I have two step children that I want to see live and a husband that I want to grow old with and I looked at that and thought my son wouldn’t want this. We all are human and make total fucks of ourselves at times but that doesn’t mean we aren’t worthy of living! He was just so young and didn’t know better, I didn’t teach him that! It’s called being human! Unless you took a life... that’s different😳. So help another human with their problems and get help with yours and you’ve done good! If you get into deep trouble and you feel completely helpless call 1-800-273-8255. This is the national helpline and someone is always at the other side to talk to you! Go talk and don’t give up!

I’m dying from a disease it seems. I sleep in an a unheated storage room. But I will never fucking give up. I will fight till my last breath. Please read this.

Life was hard. But by my mid 20’s it started looking up. I married my best friend. Bought a house. Got a great job. Had kids. In my 40’s I met my favorite athlete ever. Nearing 50 I made a friend. They had music connections. I met a lot of famous singers. In high school I had a crush on a singer. Well i got to hang out with her in my 40’s. I watched my kids win academic awards. Play music. Win city; state, & even a national Title. At an out of state sports event i met an actor. He’s one of my favorites. Very cool. Ive owned a cool old sportscar; & a BMW. Ive surfed & dived. Hung out the side of a military helicopter. Helped build something that went to Mars. I got emergency training. Ive saved lives. I breathed life into a boy who turned blue. Saved a tiny girl. Had I killed myself Id never have experienced all of those amazing things later in life. I Love You. Jesus loves you. Please learn to love your self. To calm myself I watch comedies. I listen ro fun music; I sing & dance. I stare at flashing Christmas lights on my wall; or a lava lamp on the dresser as I listen to calm music or watch TV as I drift off to sleep. I hug a large pillow as I go to sleep. Who knows what your life has in store if yiu just have the courage to live it. My best moments were holding my wifes hand. Our first kiss. My kids being born; learning to walk, & saying I Love You Daddy. You get to treat your kids the way you wish you’d been treated. Dont quit. Live this life. Stay in your seat until your turn is over. Then go to Heaven. It will wait on you. I Love You. Jesus loves you. Please learn to love your self. To calm myself I watch comedies. I listen ro fun music; I sing & dance. I stare at flashing Christmas lights on my wall; or a lava lamp on the dresser as I listen to calm music or watch TV as I drift off to sleep. I hug a large pillow as I go to sleep. God Bless

Online therapy. Talkspace.com $65 week. Maybe this will be a good site if dont want goto officr. I goto an office. Ive heard this is a good online option.

Why do you have suicidal thoughts. It starts with brain chemistry; DNA, & environment your brain developed in. You feel depressed; anxious; sad; unloved, & hopeless. Since most of you are like me ill talk a lot about me here. I care too much. If I watch the news i worry about people in wrecks; imigrants; the poor; hurt cops; hurt victims. i cry for people killed. i pray for people & their souls. i worry about my family; friends; neighbors, co-workers, even people who are mean to me. I worry about the environment; endangered species; old growth forest. i worry about the disabled; homeless, elderly. i worry about little boys with no dads. i worry sbout adteroids hitting the earth. I literally lived in a dump for yrs to givr $ to my mom & sister to help their kids. i bought them each s home. Paid for my sisters education. Even though my mom abandoned me as a boy. Even though my sister mollested me; stole from me, & for real tried to kill me. Even after marriage i kept taking from us to give to them. I would help strangers in stores. Help people with broke down cars. Give everyone a ride home. Buy people lunch. Help people in wrecks. It took having kids for me to grow up & find a balance. Ill discuss that next.

How I found a balance. I realized i had a responsibilty to myself. To live for myself. Enjoy life. To put my wife & childrens needs ahead of my family; friends; coworkers, & strangers. i still helped peoole in wrecks if i was the best option. sometimes i only calied for help. but thats still helping. I rarely took people home any more. I did good deeds & helped people; just a lot less of them. i put my kids & wife first. Me next. The rest of the world after that.