i feel sick, everyday is the same, everything in my past weighs me down. Those negative words in my head make me numb, my mind constantly has the same idea of dying. I cant do anything right anymore i never feel good enough. All of the past mistakes hurt me like a knife especially when someone brings it up, it all seems to connect to bad thoughts. I'm becoming something im not sure of being and honestly i hate it. I wanted help before since ive tried everything to keep me going yet i still dont want to get out bed or do normal stuff i just want to rot. My dad said therapy wont do anything and its all in my head and stuff about it being my fault because i have bad habits. I dont see a point of it getting better honestly.