I'm too afraid to live,
too afraid to recognize myself more,
too afraid for asking help.
I think people won't forgive me
I asked for forgiveness to God, but always do the same mistake, again and again...
I hope God never tired of me
Because I'm tired of myself already.
They said " Suicide is not worth it, because you will hurt a lot of people".
But they HURT me.
I'M BROKEN BECAUSE OF THEM, I'M MISERABLE BECAUSE OF THEM, CAN THEY SEE IT? CAN THEY UNDERSTAND ME?
I know that they will never see it or understand,
Because I don't want them to see me as a WEAK creature.
I hid it.
I hid my tears
I hid my scars
I hid my thoughts
I hid my feelings
I hid it all.
I'm already weak myself,
I don't need them to know more about me,
to know that I'm the weakest person that they will ever meet.
I won't forgive myself,
I don't deserve it.
I don't want to give myself some sympathy, even a little.
Still, i don't deserve it.
I deserve to be suffer.
And that's what I am doing right know, KEEP LIVING.
The longer I live, the suffer I become.
Just like what I deserved.