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I'm totally useless

I always feel useless and just want to end up my life , everyone hates me , blame me. Even my bf thinks I'm useless too. They think I'm just a dramatic person not knowing my feelings. When they start saying hurtful words my anxiety hits me. Alone and never express my feelings to them , thinking about the hurtful words over and over again , i dunno what to do , i just want to express this coz i cant endure this anymore, sorry if my english is bad