I try to use my words to communicate with my boyfriend when he hurts my feels but that always leads to him hurting me more and telling me he doesn’t care for the rest of what I have to say. It’s been 8years now... I’m afraid no one will love me after any of this. I’m afraid if I get pregnant by him he will take everything from me and leave me with nothing. I fear an uncertain unstable future. But I also fear being alone forever with all my mistakes. I want to just die I don’t want to keep living a futile life.