I recently turned 18 and started to look for a job. Tomorrow I have my first ever job interview and I realised that I'm absolutely terrified. I'm scared of work and I absolutely hate the idea of getting up at 5 am to go to work. I'm scared of setting up my own medical appointments or doing anything adults usually do. I would rather commit suicide than actually start living a 'normal' adult life. And I feel like that will eventually happen. None of my friends truly understand me and I've been like this for years now. I have a horrible relationship with my family and nothing gives life any meaning anymore. I'm just hoping that when I go, I go painlessly...
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