I know application season is one of the most stressful times in a person's school life, but I'm so scarred that I'm not going to get into my dream school or even a good one. I try to study and work as hard as I can but last year by grades were shit and my school ranking dropped from 3 to 5. I'm honestly such a failure. My SAT score wasn't even above a 1300 and I can't even apply for early action because I was too much of a procrastinator to sign up for an SAT retake and subject tests on time. I can only blame myself for being such a procrastinator. Im so ashamed because its not like Im just dumb. When I work hard, I can do really well but I wish my life could be easy all the time. I want to play games and watch videos all day and I wasted the entire summer away without ever studying once. Every time I procrastinate I look back at all the time I wasted but this time, I can't do anything about it. I waited too long and now I'm never going to be successful. This is such a sob story but I honestly hate myself. I really just want to die. I don't even know if there's a purpose to my life anymore. If I don't get into a good school, I'm not going to be able to get a good job. After all my parents did for me, I'm not going to be able to pay them back. I don't want to be a burden anymore.