when i'm asked how i am, i always say i'm doing great. because realistically, i am. i have everything i have ever wanted right now and more. but my stupid fucking body image follows me around everywhere. how do you tell someone that yes, you know you're pretty and yes, you know you aren't fat but for some reason those thoughts consume you all day everyday. even when i do tell someone, nobody gets it and nobody can help no matter what they say, who they are or how hard they try. i have been in recovery for my eating disorder for a little over a year now, and it hasn't stopped hurting. the voice in the back of my head never goes away. it has not gotten any easier and each day feels a step closer to giving in. i cannot take this anymore. i just wanna scream at myself and my brain. it hurts so damn bad.