In my mind..

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Let's start of by saying, I'm not a typical girl when it comes to relationships. I don't nag for my boyfriend to do chores or help around the house. I don't start fights or lead him into conversation that are obviously traps. I'm quiet, calm and emotional. When asked things I typically don't have an answer. I'm very indecisive person. That being said I hate conflicts and tend to go into "my shell" when one starts. My issue is I'm in a relationship currently where in the roles I'm the guy who quiet during fights and my boyfriend is the nagging girlfriend. He says he wants to talk out our issue and be honest. This is obviously a trap because during fights if I say what I think I have to give examples (days and times of past instants )which show that what I'm saying is true. He wants someone who he can have a debate with and I'm just not that type of person. If I cry during an argument instead of comforting me and calming down. He turns and says stuff like " now I'm the bad guy cause I a guy who makes his girlfriend cry" or if I hold in my tears he says " now your gonna cry and I'll be the bad guy once again". I hate crying in front of him so much that I hold onto crying until the fight is over and he feels that he has gotten his point across. ( Rubbingy nose in the issue like I'm a dog who peed on the floor.) I don't know how to reach this man who makes me feel like he is intentionally trying to push me away. I would love ideas on how to become strong more independent woman who can be the stereotypical girl who can fight on her own and yell back in his face. I just don't know where to begin. Life is hard when you have no self-esteem.

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