Time Spent- 2m 12s
11 Visitors

in pain

i’m scared to sleep and i can’t stop thinking. my head is so fucked up i’m so scared i won’t ever be fully normal i have so much shit going on in my head i can’t even go to anyone with this because i don’t want to be repetitive or a burden but i’m struggling so much i’m having such bad intrusive thoughts about cutting myself open and taking all the pain killers i have in my room i feel so disgusting and useless there are so many people better than me and i feel so repulsive even after all the effort i’ve put into feeling better about myself why can’t i just feel content i want nothing more than to be okay this is the worst night i’ve had in so long and i’m laying alone in bed stuck with all this shit running through my head i’m just so fucking annoyed at myself no matter how much love i’m shown i still feel hated and it’s so fucking stupid but i really do feel like a useless piece of shit with no redeeming qualities there’s not a day that goes by where i don’t think about killing myself but it hurts too much thinking about how my it’d affect the people in my life so i just suffer in silence because i don’t want to be attention seeking even though i most likely come off as this already i don’t even think i could tell the only person i’d trust to tell because they’re depressed too and i don’t wanna be a burden or make them feel like they’re not doing a good enough job of making me happy my thoughts are so self sabotaging i just want them to stop i want to be happy i don’t wanna be in pain when i’m with the only person that makes me happy but i am i just feel so fucking below everyone i feel so utterly useless i’m nearly an adult and i know nothing i’m just a good for nothing fucking idiot