How do one start to say how they actually feel? My thoughts are scrambling like crazy, I can't even organize my thoughts. Ever since my brain surgery, I am no longer 100% in control of my emotions. I used to be carefree, I don't overthink. I usually get over things quickly. But now it's amplified and magnified. I can feel every single emotion even about the things that happen years ago.
I want to share everything to my girlfriend but I don't want to be a burden to her. Especially when she doesn't seem to care anymore about how I feel or how I am doing. It seems like she is just waiting for me to break up with her. She does not ask how my day went or even make an effort to start a conversation. The thought of her not wanting me anymore breaks my heart.
I don't know if all of this feelings are effects of the brain surgery or if I'm just too broken inside that my past experiences are hunting me after burying them for years. I can't talk to anyone about this since mental health isn't really a thing in my country. Everybody seems to look down on you when you're being emotional. I'm just here full of thoughts and emotions with no one to talk to so I write it down here instead.
This is my "shout" for help. Whatever you call this shitty feeling. I'll just leave it here.